01 February 2010

One month down...

You know how you sometimes have those days when you are just sad? There isn't a real reason for it - if you really wanted to, you could think of many things you should be grateful for, and therefore cheer up. But it's not like that. That would be too logical.

Instead, you get the Blues - perhaps they start off as the Pale Blues, but before you know if you've sunk to the depths of the Navy Blues.

I woke up this morning already in a bad mood - there wasn't even a chance to step out on the wrong side. It just went downhill from there. I did my best not to take it out on others... But it seems *something* was against me today, because these little things kept happening - the kind that drive you crazy. Inconsiderate behaviour, bitchiness... it didn't take much to make me sink lower. It's a holiday today - I should be dancing on the ceiling!

It just went from bad to worse... It's your reactions that matter too. It's hard not to act like a baby or even just hurt, when you are in fact hurt. I can take critism, I really can. But when you are Blue and the wrong person says something, well, dot dot dot.

I'm trying to pull back now - swim to the surface. I've realised a few truths and am dealing with them. Some people can just be so... mean. Yesterday I would've handled things differently; better maybe. Who knows about tomorrow...

Half the day has been swallowed by the Blues. The rain may still be hitting the windows (really?! In February, on our holiday, you decide to rain?!), but I've got to let some sun in (yeah, cheese analogy - it really is raining though).

Sorry for the cryptic. It's not even a big thing - but when you have the Blues even the smallest thing can feel like the apocalypse.

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