26 September 2010

Why I should be positive

1. I had a lovely Friday night with my honey - we went to Tanuki's Cave, then saw a movie in a Gold Class cinema.
2. I bought 2 tickets to go see Wolf Gang, for 7th October!
3. The National are coming in Jan 2011!!! I swear I have been listening to all their albums on repeat of weeks.
4. All my blood tests came back normal. That's right folks I am normal. (Which doesn't help answer why my eye is the way it is, but it's a relief nonetheless)
5. I am getting my haircut/styled at an *actual* salon this Friday!
6. My usual hair-guy is still going to do my cheap colour for me on Saturday - so my hair will be all pretty :)
7. My brother has been given my parents' old car, so now our household has transport again.
8. Donuts
9. Had a great Saturday night with friends - Project Runway marathon. The new series is great.
10. Daylight savings has started - losing an hour is horrid, but it means summer is on its way :)

12 September 2010

It never ends

I feel so let down. Why does it often feel that way? Is it my fault? Because, maybe time after time I have unrealistic expectations of everyone. Perhaps I put people high on a throne and then when I get disappointed, it's more my fault than theirs. I know I am too emotional most the time, but I don't think I can change that. Is it unfair to hope people care as much about you as you do about them? Maybe I am under the illusion they care more about me than they actually do...
It makes me so sad and angry at the same time... And I am sick of it - is the answer for ME to no longer care about them?! Honestly, fuck it all right now. I am over feeling this way.
That's all.

03 September 2010

It's a triology of pain

Well, I shouldn't be writing when I am in this mood - completely and utterly miserable and furious at the same time.

This is due to the fact that for the 6th since I've been at my job, I have been moved. I always go with the flow... This time the move made no sense, and I was/am unhappy. So, for the first time I put up a resistance. Despite knowing I was unhappy no one cared. So, I tried again - I wrote a logical and reasonable email to the two bosses concerned (not emotive at all)... And one of them sat down and talked with me... And it made no difference. None. I am furious and disheartened. And am now sitting in my 'new' seat. It's bullshit.

But that aside, I got out of Jury Duty - well I attended one half day (for the whopping payment of $32). But, I got out because I got a call from the hospital giving me an appointment for my eye at the retina clinic - I had been told I would have to wait 2 weeks, but this was 5 days later.

I went, my mum came too, and it made me feel like shit - my 'doctor' didn't even introduce herself (I assumed she was the name on my letter, but found out this week it wasn't her at all!). She hardly said I word. She didnt' explain what she was doing - not even a 'you are about to see a bright light' - nothing! When I dared ask a question she barked an answer, then turned her back on us... THAT was our signal to go.

2 weeks later I go for my next appointment - I get the doctor I was supposed to the previous time. He is nice, explains what he is doing, and gets his registrar to look at my eye too. Turns out I have something COMPLETELY different to what the previous 2 docs said (white blood cells in eye and inflammation). But of course HE couldn't help me, because what I have is not his specialisation. Sooooo now I have to wait for an appointment with a different doctor. What a fuck up. Let's cross our fingers I don't go blind in that eye in the meantime, ok?!

August was supposed to be the end of all this hell. But, September is brining its own pile of crap.

I'm supposed to go to a friend's tonight. I know it would make me feel better once I got there. I just don't think I can face it.