25 March 2012

It's Over

Well, what can I say. I've been in a relationship for 2.5 years. Last month I asked for a one month break... I did a lot of thinking and emotional angsting. I was coming to the conclusion that I had to break it off when he wrote me a poem. A fricken poem (ed: that kind of gesture if right up my alley). He did make a rather glaring mistake in his poem -- glaring because he referred to the wrong something; the right something was a personal interest I had explained to him, and he clearly forgot. Still, it was a poem written to me.

We saw each other a few times during the break, the last being for dinner and a movie. It was ok, fine, nice - all those boring adjectives. Because, after everything, he should've been on first date behaviour; it was a chance to show me he wanted me. It was not the time to be dropping balls.

Friday night I had been drinking, he was texting me - he asked me to coffee the next day. I text back: "I don't know, I don't think we were meant to be together, but I miss you". The booze gave me some dutch courage to breath the truth; I knew exactly what I was doing. When he didn't reply after a few hours, I called him. His demeanor on the phone made it clear he didn't want to talk. As soon as we hung up I burst out crying -- I knew right then it was over. Without a doubt.

I thought to myself: I need to meet with him to let him know my feelings...

I didn't get the chance for that, because my 38 year old boyfriend of 2.5 years emailed me. EMAILED ME. And the email he sent was: cold, heartless, uncaring, selfish, immature, and down right mean. He talked of never wanting to see me again and that he was "unfriending" me and my family on facebook (ed: it's like we're in high school and have been in a 'serious relationship' for 3 days!!).

It's both harder and easier now - his email made it easier to know it was over over OVER. But it's harder knowing how uncaring... how thoughtless... harder knowing that I wasn't worth anything to him.

Now I can move on. One step at a time. F*ck you motherf*ckeeeeeerrrrrr.

RIP, 24th March 2012

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